The SociaList (Wk of 11/22/20 - 11/28/20)
- Bread Baby Productions
- Nov 30, 2020
- 6 min read
YOOOOO! What’s goody? Welcome back here for another edition of The SociaList aka the written 106 & Park for social media. We know it's tough for you to keep up with all of the different social sites during the week so we're doing the dirty work for you. Let's get to it...
10. Forex Relaxation
This week we start out at Twitter, with @NoSwaggT. Now there’s a new popular business hustle that has taken social media by storm. I can’t tell you exactly what it is but from the looks of it, it’s a mix between a televangelical testimonial and an old school Roc-a-fella concert. There’s a lotta yelling and screaming and people get chains and some people even pass out from what I’ve heard but anyways…after a long day of work anyone would like to settle in to a nice warm bath. But when you’re performing the schematics of pyramid nature, you more than likely relax in a different way.
9. White Boy Thanksgiving
As you know, this past Thursday was the holiday where we all collectively listened to Shirley Caesar list delectable foods over a trap remix beat by DJ Suede. And social media was full of struggle meals served across the nation, but this series of photos tweeted by @HBOgroupie need to be put in a museum. I find it interesting that someone was able to capture photos from an actual Thanksgiving feast from David Koresh’s religious compound in Waco but I’m thankful they did it. The third pic is the absolute definition of a disturbing abomination of “edible” food products. Each time you open it you’ll find something else that takes you to dry heave heaven. There’s a craftily carved watermelon filled with….what looks to be popcorn? Cut up hot dog weiners in…cheez whiz?! STUFFED CRANBERRY SAUCE! STUFFED CRANBERRY SAUCE is the wildest thing I’ve ever seen in my life! I have no clue what it’s stuffed with and I don’t want to know but it’s literally terrifying. Gravy in a windex bottle MIGHT just be the most normal thing in this pic. Oh and we can’t forget about the Powerade marinated poultry! I would like to say I’m surprised by this Smurf Turkey, but I once saw white men at work shove a Dr. Pepper up a turkey’s ass and throw it on a pit so needless to say at this point we can assume their willing to put anything and everything in their food except for actual seasoning.
8. Work Computer Passwords
Alright let’s head on over to Facebook for our number 8 selection. With cyber security threats at an all time high and hackers multiplying faster than Forex traders, our precious information needs to be protected at all costs. But I think we all can agree with Christina Grant as she penned this sincere letter to her work computer. Over two thousand people shared these exact same sentiments. It’s bad enough that it has to contain a lower case letter, an uppercase letter, a number, an emoji, hieroglyphics, etc. etc. But then you can’t even use the same or similar password from the past 4 decades either? And just wait til you get back to work after this holiday break when your work computer inconveniently decides that the password you just updated last week is now outdated. No need to go postal, just go with “Password123!” like everyone else in the office.
7. Heavenly Eggs
The number 7 pick was a depressing, yet hilarious one. My fat ass loves food, and I definitely appreciate a good deviled egg. In fact, I’ve actually had to suppress my love and lower my intake of them, due to my farts contributing significantly to global warming. So when @logical_el tweeted this recycled picture from Facebook from someones Thanksgiving last year, I was immediately traumatized. But when I read one unknown users comment which hilariously read everyones mind, I let out a big ugly laugh that woke up all of my coworkers from their post lunch itis slumber. Pay no attention to that disgracefully dry ass turkey or that weak ass Kraft Easy Mac. WHY THE EGGS AINT GOT NO DEVIL IN THEM? Listen, don’t nobody in the world want no Heavenly Eggs! I WANT ETERNAL DAMNATION DEVILED EGGS DEVIL DAMNIT!
6. Stallion Boyfriend Application
Right now Meg Thee Stallion is the hottest hottie on the planet! From the thighs, to that ASS, to THAT WAP, I mean her whole BODY-ODY-ODY-ODY-ODY! And right now the sex appeal is so strong in the stallion that even the @drunkhomosexual is applying for boyfriend status. I’m loving the detail to the lyrics in this and I would recommend that some inquiring women do the same with Diddy when it comes to his “Simple” requirements for a girlfriend in his 2001 jammer “I Need a Girl Pt. 2”
5. PETA Stuffing
For number 5 let’s give a hand to PETA for reading the room. In protest for Thanksgiving I guess, they posted this picture as if it were going to teach some people a lesson. What it really did is just remind all the single women out there how lonely they’ve been since the quarantine started. Just imagine how many women out there wished they softly and delicately rubbed down and marinated, stuffed, and even BASTED! Those assholes from PETA knew what they were doing, but I will give them this…for the first time in their life those women could say they were actually jealous of a turkey.
4. Scoop Practice
At number 4 @austincarr2 on TikTok showed us the different techniques and skills when it comes to attacking the sacred Mac & Cheese on turkey day. Hopefully you all got to see this one before the big eat, and didn’t go savage mode and scoop out of the middle of the dish. I love this video and there’s not even much more for me to say. The funny writes itself in this one.
3. Bedroom Buzzing
Number 3 is probably one of my favorites on the list because it’s so fuckin’ original and funny and simple. I really can’t relate to it yet somehow I can relate to it very much. As I mentioned earlier, we’re in the middle of a pandemic and there are some single women out there who haven’t had any male attention in awhile, and I’m guessing that @cdnnx is one of them after reading this tweet. This is one of those #IYKYK tweets and I especially love the lack of shame that she shows by replying to her own tweet saying “This isn’t a burner.” And after reading this am I the only man who imagines four older men in the corner of her room playing dominoes arguing about who the greatest NBA Player of all time was all the while @cdnnx was making sweet love to herself with her Blissful Bullet 3000 with duralasting extra strength batteries.
2. This NWord Spittin
The runner up this week is my absolute favorite pick and held down the number one spot all week until a downcoding boxer came through and stole the limelight. This Instagram video was reposted UFC Champ Israel Adesanya “The Stylebender” but was originally made by @longbeach_griffy and it’s quite exceptional to say the least! Rappers dry snitch on themselves all the damn time so I think this dude has a very profitable career ahead of him. I mean think about it, he’s just pulling a 69 except instead of pretending to be someone he’s not and trolling the entire rap game and then actually getting caught in some gangsta shit and then snitching on everyone around him, he’s already telling on himself and his homies. Don’t wait for the Feds to come get you, invite em right on in! Although Jim and Cornelius are just doing their favorite Trump impersonation…so I guess that makes them smart?! Either way, this is the hardest rapper out right now. Catching bodies in real life and in the booth & spitting fire on the mic while having a fire crotch! Shoutout to @longbeach_griffy!
1. Nate Robinson
Now of course we all know what the number one buzz topic was from this past week on social media. If you've been going Nate Nate under a rock, former NBA Star Nate Robinson was knocked out cold by YouTuber Jake Paul and the internet broke for at least a day and a half! There's no more jokes for me on this one, I'm just gonna post some of my favorite memes and videos and let ya'll enjoy the content! But on a serious note, prayers up for Nate man. It's easy to joke but that was an ugly knockout and I just hope homie is alright after that.
Thank ya'll for checking me out and thank you to my social media family for being such a shit show! Deuces!
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